In Search of The Ultimate Project (of my life)

Life can be pretty crazy. Some people might say I have no life or that I have missed so much of what life has to offer, but the thing is; it is not their life, it is mine. There is no rule that says that I should compare, weigh and measure my life according to the standards and scales of other people, unless I accept this as a rule.

So with all of the scales thrown off what’s left is only myself and the whole universe around me, not just the physical universe, but the universe of ideas, my memeverse, one from which understanding of the physical comes from too.

Occasionally I feel like I’m on the brink of some spectacular realization, but it keeps eluding me. Somehow, though, I believe the day is coming when I will find it. I am learning to be more patient with myself, be more observant of my emotions, reactions, failures and successes and thus more prone to evolution.

I had this feeling just tonight. It’s like I’m seeing the dots which are part of the bigger picture, but I cannot yet quite connect them.

Some of those dots are:

- I own two awesome domain names: memenode.com and memeverse.com. Somehow that seems significant.

- I have a bit of a fascination with the concept of memes and otherwise like to live in a free form mental world…

- I like free thinking and free form philosophy.

- I like virtual online worlds and gaming, yet I’m not a regulard nor “hard core” gamer.

- I like high tech and software, the freer (libre) the better.

- I am a passionate voluntaryist who believes in emergent order, free markets and total individualism.

- I am emotional, sensitive and easily inspired and moved.

And I feel like there is a thread binding all of the above things into one, a thread which if I discover may become a seed of my life’s work, the most revolutionary, most profitable and most exciting and motivating project I have ever done.

This is because I believe that all of my interests (likes, tendencies, beliefs) are all pieces of the puzzle that is my self and it is my self that is seeking to do things that will lead it to ultimate success. So I don’t quite dismiss certain interests just because they don’t fit the current paradigm. I sometimes worry about activities which right now seem like waste of time, but other times wonder; the fact I have them means they are part of my self and if it’s my self that needs to succeed than that self must include those interests. Therefore perhaps instead of trying to shut some of them down, I should observe, listen, effectively listening to myself and searching for the links between all of them – that elusive thread.

I will have to be thinking about this.

Tags: Exploring, Personal, Philosophy