I’m confusing myself.

To those who may consider me to be a bullsh*it speaking “smartas*” with all these philosophical posts here is your chance to gloat. I mean, go on! If you’re out there please gloat! I’m not sure you’ll get another chance.

Of course, considering how little readers this (new) blog has these people may very well be lacking here, but I can imagine them. It’s not hard to do it. I’ve encountered people who may, after reading some of my posts, say that I’m thinking too much, that I really went overboard and that I’m maybe even a bit crazy in the head.

I’m talking about the kinds of posts like the last one. You might laugh out loud at this, but I managed to pretty much confuse even myself with it. Do LOL.

Since getting this notion into my head that everything we see as true around us is just true within the boundaries of our own perception and that it may not always match exactly with the absolute truth, I’ve lessened my ability to evaluate my own “true” problems based on the “real” evidence. Because, if it is all just in our heads and so changeable, who can guarantee me that the conclusion I come to today is really the right one. I basically lose the ground on which my opinions can stand on, cause by doubting everything I even doubt whether that ground is real or not.

I suppose I just introduced more variables into my analytical thinking than I can efficiently handle. And it’s crazy. I mean, rationally I know that the perceived reality we are living in is all we’ve got and that it isn’t very smart to confuse our thinking by introducing the fact that there is a reality beyond the reality we see into our equations, yet I feel a weird urge to do just that, effectively putting myself into a limbo.

…

Just now I just wrote a sentence which announced an example of what I mean above… and then deleted it. I can’t even come up with a proper example! The next thing I knew was that I was literally laughing at myself thinking “gosh you’ve really lost it”.

I don’t even know if it’s worth saying anything more here than “help!!!”.

Danijel has lost his mind and is looking around to find it..

Um.. is that real.. now.. surreal, no.. maybe, it’s all in my mind, but does a mind really exist, yes it does just like problems I am trying to tackle, but may not be problems because my mind created the perception of them and that perception may be wrong.

Hah.. I’m chasing shadows because that’s what perceptions are, just shadows of reality. Maybe it’s better to assume perceptions as reality itself than as perceptions of one, leaving the latter conclusion merely for philosophical debates, not real life.. er.. living.

Time to take a deep breath and for once go to sleep early. Maybe if, after weeks, I finally wake up rested in the early morning (rather than going to sleep at that time) and then dedicate some quality “thinking time” to what’s bothering me, I’ll be less confused and be able to find more energy and motivation to do what I do.

Tags: Personal, Philosophy